2011年6月2日 星期四

Discussing Cause 2

After reading the paragraph, I learn about some reasons for why Michael Willians’s business failed in around 4 months.  First, Michael opens the store on small side street just outside of town.  Compared with the shop in the shopping center, there aren’t lots of people buying CDs in his shop, for it’s scarcely for them to find his shop.  When it comes to business hours, Michael opens his shop on Monday to Friday at 1 pm to 5 pm when there are few people walking past the store.  If Michael opened his store at 12 pm to 6 pm not only on daily but also on weekends, his shop might not turn down now.  Additionally, most of the costumes to Michael’s shop are at the age from 40 to 61.  But the CDs, hip-hop and rock, selling in Michael’s shop are all much suitable for the young people aged from 11 to 30, who are less than the middle-aged and the old in Michael’s shop.  As for the payment, people can only pay in cash and checks and credit cards are not accepted, which cause that people turn down their willing to buy CDs.  Maybe some people only have credit cards or they can’t pay for a CD for they don’t have enough money at present.  As what mentioned above,  that are why Michael failed to run his shop well.

5 則留言:

  1. for it’s scarcely for them to find his shop.
    前面的for可以改成其他同義詞比較不易重複
    costume我只有查到"服裝"的意思,還是你是要寫customers??還有我不太清楚為什麼要用to...
    much suitable-->much more suitable
    that are-->those are
    這篇比較有點不順唷~

    回覆刪除
  2. for why (應該是why或是for which吧)

    回覆刪除
  3. costumes是customers吧!
    that are why Michael failed to run his shop well.
    用that有點怪怪的~

    回覆刪除
  4. As for the payment, people can only pay in cash and checks and credit cards are not accepted, which cause that people turn down their willing to buy CDs. which是指付費的這件事嗎還是說付費方式@0@~~~~我關代也不好所以也不確定cause是不是要加s
    然後你的地位會因為這篇岌岌可危~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!

    回覆刪除
  5. costumes→costomers吧
    要不要注意一下時態
    感覺用過去式會比較好一點~

    回覆刪除