I had an unforgettable experience last year. It was before I entered a senior high school that I decided to be a volunteer in a hospital. I helped people in a hospital, which was far away from my home and was in a remote village. All I had to do in the hospital was to give sicknesses correct direction to the departments. However, I had another significant task on the last day that I served in the hospital. There was a mother-to-be sent to the emergency room as she took a slip in the bathroom, keeping shedding blood. Furthermore, owing to the shortage of the medical care staff in that hospital, I was asked to help the doctor conduct an operation on her. During the operation, she was so afraid of losing her babies that she cried loud and kept shivering. Finally, to our relief, the woman gave birth to two babies successfully and both of her babies were healthy. Not only did it be my first time to be a volunteer but also an unforgettable experience in my life.
第二段的第二個a hospital應該改成the hospital
回覆刪除倒數第三行的loud 是形容詞要改成loudly吧!
第五行的on the last day 是不是要用in the last day?
回覆刪除結論很好:)
sicknesses感覺像是疾病那種...
回覆刪除其他大致上沒問題~:D
喜歡你的結論句
回覆刪除1.I helped people in a hospital 用the 吧!
回覆刪除結論句讚+1
沒什麼問題,而且我喜歡你的內容~
回覆刪除就像上面的人說的結論句真的很棒欸.ˇ.
好像沒什麼錯的地方
回覆刪除我覺得寫的很好!
整篇都很流暢
回覆刪除倒裝句使用的很棒!!
值得我學習
wow`根本沒什麼錯可挑-.-
回覆刪除那就只好讚美啦!!!
最後一句真的很棒:"D